I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
