i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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