Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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