I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
