so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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