Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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