Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
