it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
