i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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