So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
