The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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