do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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