at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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