Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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