If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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