if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
