I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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