You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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