I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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