Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just gargled with NyQuil
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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