come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
