i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
