i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I didn't notice because vodka
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
