I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
