her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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