The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just gift wrapped bread.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
