my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
