is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
