the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
