You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
