You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
