roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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