11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
