Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
