I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
