I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
