I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
