I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
