I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
