ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
