I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
worst night to have a conscience
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
