i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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