I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
