i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
