doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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