Don't you send me to vm
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
