i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
