Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
