Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
