Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.

(803): View more from South Carolina

Genius.

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(850): View more from Florida

lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.

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(315): View more from New York

You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.

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(816): View more from Missouri

My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.

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(512): View more from Texas

When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man

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(303): View more from Colorado

Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings

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(519): View more from Ontario

He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried

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