video games are the ultimate cock blocker
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
